Have you ever found yourself excusing poor decisions or behavior by saying, “No one told me”?
Or perhaps you’ve thought, “How am I supposed to know what’s expected of me?” or, “What should I do to be acknowledged?” These common refrains—whether related to behavior, dress codes, or general expectations—often shift the responsibility for proper conduct onto others. But is it really someone else’s job to ensure you meet expectations?
Personal accountability is the cornerstone of professional and social success, yet many people operate in a reactionary manner—waiting for correction rather than acting with forethought. This blog explores why relying on others to guide your behavior undermines growth and why taking ownership of your actions is essential for thriving in any environment.
Why Personal Accountability Matters
1. Reactionary Thinking Undermines Growth
Reactionary thinking—waiting for others to correct you—stifles self-improvement. This mindset assumes that external cues are required to change behavior, undermining the proactive qualities employers, peers, and society value. According to Covey (1989), proactive individuals anticipate challenges and adapt their actions accordingly, while reactive individuals wait for external forces to shape their response.
When you find yourself thinking, “How am I supposed to know?” the answer is often simpler than you think. Personal accountability means taking the initiative to understand your environment and its expectations. It involves anticipating what might be required of you and aligning your behavior to meet those standards without waiting for reminders or corrections.
2. The Professional Consequences of Neglecting Forethought
In professional environments, there are often unspoken expectations about behavior, attire, and conduct—even in virtual settings. For example, dressing casually or appearing unprepared during a virtual meeting might not violate a written policy, but it can damage perceptions of competence and seriousness.
If you find yourself asking, “What should I do to be acknowledged?” start by examining whether you’re meeting those unspoken expectations. Proactively aligning your actions with the environment’s standards demonstrates self-awareness and professionalism. Research suggests that employees who take initiative and demonstrate self-discipline are more likely to advance in their careers and build stronger relationships with colleagues (Goleman, 1995).
How to Find Information When You Don’t Know
Taking responsibility doesn’t mean knowing everything instinctively—it means knowing where and how to find the information you need. Here are actionable tips to help you stay informed and aligned with expectations:
1. Review Policies and SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures)
Familiarize yourself with your organization’s policies, employee handbook, or code of conduct.
SOPs often contain specific guidelines for behavior, attire, and workflows. Reviewing these regularly ensures you remain compliant.
2. Speak With Authority Members, Supervisors, or Peers
When in doubt, approach your supervisor or a trusted authority figure for clarification.
Peers can also be valuable resources for understanding unspoken norms or expectations within a team.
3. Pay Attention to Onboarding Information
The onboarding process provides crucial insights into your role and the organization’s culture.
Take notes, ask questions, and revisit any materials provided during this phase.
4. Stay Up-to-Date on Trainings
Regular training sessions often include updates on processes, policies, or expectations.
Actively engage during these sessions by asking questions and taking detailed notes.
5. Monitor Emails and Organizational Communications
Organizations frequently send updates or policy changes via email or internal messaging systems.
Make it a habit to check your messages daily to ensure you don’t miss important information.
6. Observe Others
Pay attention to how colleagues or team members conduct themselves, especially those in leadership roles.
Observation can provide valuable context for understanding both spoken and unspoken norms.
7. Ask Questions for Clarity
If you’re uncertain about a process or expectation, ask for clarification.
Phrase your questions thoughtfully: “Can you help me understand the expected dress code for virtual meetings?”
Why Corrective Feedback Shouldn’t Be Expected
While constructive feedback is an essential part of growth, it is not a substitute for personal accountability. Assuming that others will step in to correct your actions shifts the burden of responsibility. This can breed resentment and create unnecessary friction in relationships.
If you think, “Why didn’t someone tell me I was doing it wrong?” consider that relying on external correction places undue responsibility on others. Research by Stone and Heen (2014) suggests that effective feedback systems rely on individuals being receptive, not reliant. By taking initiative, you allow feedback to enhance your development rather than replace self-discipline.
Final Thoughts: Accountability is a Life Skill
Personal responsibility is not just a professional necessity—it’s a life skill. Expecting others to correct or guide your actions detracts from your independence, maturity, and growth. Instead of asking, “How am I supposed to know?” or, “What should I do to be acknowledged?” take the initiative to understand and align with expectations proactively.
Cultivate self-awareness, anticipate expectations, and adopt a proactive mindset. By doing so, you’ll not only meet the standards of your environment but exceed them, earning respect and trust from those around you.
Accountability begins and ends with you. Take charge of your actions, and you’ll discover the transformative power of owning your journey.
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References
Covey, S. R. (2009). 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Restoring the Character Ethic (Online-Ausg). RosettaBooks.
Crossman, J. E., & Clarke, M. (2010). International experience and graduate employability: Stakeholder perceptions on the connection. Higher Education, 59(5), 599–613. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10734-009-9268-z
Durkheim, É., Coser, L. A., Halls, W. D., & Durkheim, É. (1984). The division of labor in society. Free Press.
Perloff, R. (1997). Daniel Goleman’s Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. The Psychologist-Manager Journal, 1(1), 21–22. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0095822
Stone, D., & Heen, S. (2014). Thanks for the feedback: The science and art of receiving feedback well (even when it is off base, unfair, poorly delivered, and, frankly, you’re not in the mood). Penguin Books.
Good read to apply to myself