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Writer's pictureMarcus D. Taylor, MBA

Are You Intellectually Around the Wrong Crowd? A Candid Look at Your Social Circle

Updated: Nov 3


man standing in front of crowd and everyone one is looking around and away from man in front
Image of man standing in front of crowd

Life is a series of equations. What mattered to us ten years ago might not even be a blip on our radar today. Our social circles evolve in tandem with these shifts, but sometimes, they lag behind, pulling us into an intellectual inertia that's hard to break. It's crucial to recognize when we are intellectually around the wrong crowd and make adjustments, especially as our interests evolve.


A Personal Tale of Two Circles


I can relate. For most of my life, athleticism was my identity. Sweat and adrenaline were the languages I spoke fluently. But then came a change. Age, interests, and perhaps even wisdom took their toll, and my body was no longer the invincible machine I once thought it to be. I found myself gravitating towards books, academic pursuits, and intellectual debates. Where I was once discussing game plays and workout regimens, I was now engrossed in discussions about AI, educational theories, or the complexities of human behavior.


The shift was liberating but also alienating. Suddenly, I found myself feeling like a nerd in circles where I used to be the jock. It wasn't that I didn't value those relationships; it was just that the conversations were no longer nourishing my intellectual appetite. I felt most alive discussing growth, technology, science, social behaviors, and even matters of faith. It was a telling sign that my intellectual environment needed some pruning.


The sum of our choices, actions, and, perhaps most importantly, the people we surround ourselves with can often define our life's trajectory. Ever heard of the saying from motivational speaker Jim Rohn, "You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with"? There's more truth to it than you might think. But what happens when your social circle doesn’t reflect your intellectual pursuits or goals? Are you, perhaps, intellectually around the wrong crowd?


Signals That Point To 'Yes'

  1. Stagnation Overgrowth: You notice that discussions rarely move beyond surface-level topics. While it's great to unwind, a constant diet of small talk may point to a mismatch in intellectual interests.

  2. Criticism Over Curiosity: If your ideas or accomplishments are often met with cynicism rather than curiosity, it's a red flag. Intellectual growth thrives in environments where inquiry is welcomed.

  3. Comfort Over Challenge: Friendships should offer emotional support, but if your circle only provides comfort and avoids challenging your viewpoints or ambitions, you may be missing out on valuable growth opportunities.

  4. Low Engagement in Learning: If you're passionate about academia, technology, or any field that requires constant learning, and your social circle doesn’t share that enthusiasm, it can be isolating.

  5. Goal Misalignment: Ultimately, if your long-term goals are worlds apart from those in your current social circle, you might need to reassess the company you keep.

The Cost of Intellectual Mismatch


Staying in an intellectually mismatched crowd can lead to a lack of motivation, unrealized potential, and even a decline in mental well-being. It’s like being a Ferrari stuck in a school zone; you're not reaching the speed you’re capable of, and it's frustrating.


Realigning Your Social Geometry

  1. Networking Up: Seek out mentors or like-minded individuals who inspire you.

  2. Reevaluate: Take time to assess your current relationships. Do they foster growth or hold you back?

  3. Balance: Remember, not all your friends need to be intellectual giants, but having a couple in your circle can encourage you to reach new heights.

  4. Set Boundaries: It's okay to distance yourself from people who bring negative energy into your intellectual pursuits.

  5. Keep the Door Open: Changing your social circle doesn't mean you have to sever ties completely. You can still maintain those friendships, but perhaps in a different capacity.

If you feel out of place in your current social settings, it might be an indicator that your intellectual needs have evolved. And that's perfectly okay. Take it as a sign that it's time to seek out new circles that resonate with your changed interests and goals. After all, an intellectual journey is not a sprint but a marathon, and your companions can make all the difference. There's no one-size-fits-all answer, but your intellectual environment plays a crucial role in shaping who you are and who you'll become. Are you in the right place for where you want to go? Only you can answer that. But remember, changing lanes isn't just about going faster; it's about finding the right track for you.

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dcope41
18. Sept. 2023

Great perspective and insight to what's commonly experienced but rarely expressed.

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