Introduction: The Question That Changed My Life
"What are you going to do with your life?"
That was the question my uncle, Darrell asked me at a time when I had no real direction. I was young, making impulsive choices, and had little sense of the future. I shrugged it off at first, expecting him to hand me an answer.
But that wasn’t his way. Instead of telling me what to do, he simply stared at me, waiting—forcing me to think, to evaluate, to take responsibility for my own path.
That moment was a turning point.
My uncle wasn’t just family. He was a mentor, a teacher, and a guide—someone who never told me what to do but always made me see what needed to be done.
Through discipline, tough love, and countless conversations, he shaped the man I am today.
His wisdom influenced my decisions, my career, my family, and ultimately, my retirement as a Master Sergeant.
Lessons in Respect and Responsibility
I’ll never forget the morning my uncle called me out.
At the time, I was living with him and my Aunt Adriane, and I had picked up the habit of smoking cigarettes. I never smoked inside the house, out of respect, but I did smoke in the garage—the same space where he worked out every morning.
I didn’t think much of it. To me, it was just a garage.
One day, as I was walking through the house, he stopped me.
"Hey Man! You been smoking in my gym?" he asked, his voice calm but firm.
I nodded.
"So every morning, when I walk in there to train, I have to smell that?"
I had never thought about it that way. To me, it was a small thing. But to him, it was about discipline, focus, and respect.
"This is where I push myself," he continued. "This is where I work hard. You don’t bring weakness into a place meant for strength."
That lesson wasn’t just about cigarettes. It was about understanding how our actions impact others. It was about realizing that respect isn’t just about intention—it’s about being mindful of the spaces we occupy and the people we share them with.
From that moment on, I carried that lesson with me—in my career, in my relationships, and in the way I approach leadership.
Old Man Strength and the Powerlifting Mindset
At that time, I considered myself an athlete. I had played fpotball at a high level, but the endurance of lifting weights? That wasn’t something I took seriously. It was heavy short reps for me. Until I saw my uncle in the gym.
I assumed that because he was older, I could outlift him easily. But I quickly realized something—"old man strength" is real.
He didn’t just lift. He dominated. Every rep, every set, every movement was controlled, deliberate, and powerful. I tried to keep up, but I couldn’t.
That moment changed how I viewed strength. It wasn’t about youth, speed, or even talent. It was about discipline, consistency, and the willingness to show up every single day, no matter how you feel.
Years later, when I got into powerlifting, I finally understood what my uncle had been teaching me all along. Strength isn’t just about muscle—it’s about mental resilience, perseverance, and an unshakable will.
The Military: The Hardest and Best Decision of My Life
When I was drifting through life, my uncle gave me an option that would change everything—the Tennessee Army National Guard.
I didn’t fully understand the weight of that decision at the time, but I trusted him. So, I enlisted. I later went on to Active Duty service in the Texas Army National Guard and Army Reserve.
And then reality hit.
Facing Accountability: My Article 15
The military, much like my uncle, didn’t allow room for excuses. I made mistakes—some small, some big. But while on a mobilization as a response to the 9/11 attacks, one of the biggest lessons came when I received an Article 15, a non-judicial punishment.
I had let my lack of discipline get the best of me. While on mobilization in Virginia, my uncle, now my Battery Commander, didn’t let me off easy.
For 30 days, I was restricted to the barracks. I had to be somewhere every hour on the hour. There was no room for laziness, no room for missteps. Some thought my uncle was too hard on me, but I knew better.
At the end of those 30 days, he didn’t give me a lecture. He didn’t hold a grudge.
Instead, he walked up to me and said, “Are you good?”
When I nodded, he simply asked, “Wanna go see a movie and grab something to eat?”
That was it. Lesson learned, punishment served, move forward.
That moment showed me what true leadership looked like. It wasn’t about punishing people—it was about holding them accountable so they could grow.
The Decision to Stay in the Military
Years later, I found myself at another crossroads—whether to leave the military early or stay until retirement.
I was tired. Exhausted. Done with the constant grind. I was ready to walk away.
But I did what I always did—I called my uncle.
I expected him to give me an answer, but instead, he made me think.
"What happens after you leave?" he asked. "Have you thought about the long-term consequences? Have you thought about how this will affect your future and your family?"
He made me realize that I was about to make a permanent decision based on temporary emotions. And because of his guidance, I stayed.
Years later, I retired as a Master Sergeant. And I look back on that decision with humility, knowing I finished what I started.
A Legacy of Strength and Wisdom
Now, as a husband, a father, and a retired Master Sergeant, I see my uncle’s influence in every part of my life.
He taught me that respect isn’t about words—it’s about actions.
He showed me that discipline isn’t something you do when it’s convenient—it’s a way of life.
He proved that real strength isn’t just physical—it’s mental, emotional, and built through perseverance.
And most importantly, he taught me that the most important decisions in life require deep thought, patience, and accountability.
Because of him, I don’t just react to life—I evaluate, strategize, and move forward with purpose.
Final Thoughts: A Challenge for You
Looking back, I realize that my uncle didn’t just teach me lessons—he made me see the lessons for myself.
And so I leave you with this question:
Who in your life challenges you to be better?
And when the time comes to make a hard choice, will you have the courage to think beyond the moment?
Nephew ..this was awesome! You have become what you've written about. I have seen it first hand. So proud of you.